Saturday, May 17, 2014


When they hide your briefcase, your keys, and your wallet.....

you know something's waning.

You know then....that your hours have been long, your play sessions have been short, and your absence?...

it's felt.

Yeah. When your kids try to keep you from work - by hiding your things....that's when your soul gapes open.

That husband of mine left for the office yesterday morning with tear puddled eyes and a pulled heart muscle.

The new job suits his bent well, yes. And we knew the first few months of this gig was going to be a grind. And Mama's and Daddy's.... we can cope somewhat. But the kids? They just crack.

I know this now.

I know this now - after cry sessions, and cologne smelling, and acting out.

So sometimes.....when you see your children whittling because of your stop for a weekend time-out.

Even when the budget doesn't give you permission. Even if there are 10,000 things on the move to-do list. Even when there's no time for frilly fun.....

You decide to pinch pennies, and pile in a van, and head away for a few days. I-10 West will carry us to a spontaneous, glee-filled, Daddy-present weekend.

Because when little hearts ooze.....yours does too.

And the briefcase, the keys, and the wallet - they can wait.

If work has you bound up lately - less loose this weekend. Get back to it on Monday. Praying you are surprised by joy, and stirred up by new passions, and encouraged over the next few days, friends. Love and hugs to you all.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Silence to Shouting

It seems as though when life is hardest.....words flow fewest.

And that's unfortunate.

Because as C.S. Lewis once penned: 

"Whenever you are fed up with life, start writing: ink is the great cure for all human ills....."


Writing is a type of therapy, it seems.

But this past week..... left me wordless. And where I had words....I lacked the faculties to appropriately convey them.

So forgive me for the long pause. I certainly have a reason for the languish and loss of verse.

Because friends....I know now, that nothing will make you lose it like a lump.

Inundated with pink ribbons, and cancer causes, and 5k's for fundraising - our culture can't say that they didn't know to be watchful for suspicious symptoms of the chest.

So when I found a large, painful mass - I melted. My mind - it's prone to worry. And it's bent is pessimism. Before I ever saw a doctor - I had diagnosed myself with the worst.

And it effected everything. It consumed every thought, it drowned out every other fear, and it laid thick and heavy....for almost a week.

All those things that I had been completely consumed by before - suddenly seemed like pebbles next to an alp.

The tight budget.
The moving.
The home finding.
The husband's long hours.
The homeschooling.
The house showings.

It all waned.

Suddenly....they all seemed like gifts. Not Gibralters.

Because those things aren't real problems. They're just real life.

When the radiologist looked at the ultrasound tech and said "Mondors"....glee crept up from within - because while I didn't know at all what it meant, I knew that word didn't sound anything like the word "cancer".

Praise Jesus.

When she explained to me that I have a rare but non-life threatening condition where the vein clots and bulges.....I basked in the mostly good diagnosis.

And a gratefulness and light settled deep.

And joy sprang up like tulips in Spring.

And then we ate Mexican food :)

Since that day - the world seems different. 

The whole situation was a life-changer. A perspective shifter. A vision caster.

And it's quieted the irritations and groanings of annoyance.

The little mundane tasks of life - have felt like privileges. 

The things I was loathing - I've been loving.

And oh, I hope this light-bulb stays on!

The husband suggested, or commanded rather, that I jot this all down in my journal - as to not forget the moment's feelings. Because they can be fleeting. Slipping back into an uncalled for despair is easy.

Right before he headed back to work after my appointment...walking to his vehicle after downing fajitas....the grand man I married looked back at me and said...

"Build an alter here, Kate."

Build an alter so that you can praise Him in this moment now.....and remember the blessing later.


So these words here....let them be stacked up stones. Let them stand as a marker - to ensure that this new found perspective isn't lost! Let them remind me to rejoice! Let them remind me to look for things I can praise God for...knee-bent and grateful.

Oh Lord, let the site of this altar.....alter.

Certainly - diagnosis don't always hit us with joy. Certainly - the news isn't always happy.

But when it is.....stand back and shout your Hallelujahs at the landmark.