Tuesday, January 5, 2010

My Inklings

Ya know those inklings I prayed for in my last post? I'm getting them. It's wild. And it's good. Very, very good..........

*Yesterday as we were leaving church, my husband said that he had this "strange feeling" we should take a sweet couple we know out to lunch. Since we are trying to be more sensitive and responsive to the Spirit in 2010 - we jumped on it. Sitting there chatting with them - I happened to notice the beautiful red fingernail polish that was so wonderfully swept across the lady's fingernails. I commented on how lovely her nails looked and almost fell out of the booth when she said, "Oh thank you. My husband paints them for me." I could cry writing about it. You see, this lady is legally blind. She can see certain things - but there is a lot that she can't make out.  The hand-in-hand love they share spoke volumes to me.  I don't know if it's always been that way for them. I don't know if they have moments where they struggle with it. But I know that when a man paints his wife's fingernails - It's love. It. is. love.

*This morning, I opened up my Bible - with high hopes of finding some nugget of inspirational truth - and a nugget of inspirational truth is exactly what I found. My eyes were lead directly to this:

Teach me to do your will for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing. (Psalm 143:10)

I didn't seek out this verse. I didn't go searching for a verse like this one. It found me. And I will have you know, being the skeptic that I am, I have been known to roll my eyes when people say that God lead them to a certain verse and what not - but y'all - God lead me to that verse. And I felt like He was saying, "Make it yours this year, Kate." With some of the things I happen to be dealing with in life right now - being lead forward on firm footing - sounds perfect.

*As I've mentioned  numerous times here on my blog - I doubt. You might as well call me Thomas. It drives me crazy. It drives the people around me crazy. My questions are endless. I have new curiosities about the Christian faith with each new sunrise.  I have things written in the margins of my Bible that my grandmother slapped my hand for. Things like, "Are you kidding me?"...."How could God let this happen?".....and....."What????". To make myself feel better, I also want you to know that I have things written in the margins of my Bible like, "Lord, help me to remember this."....and.... "The Bible is perfectly enough." So don't think I go around writing bad things in my Bible everyday. And don't feel too bad for me either -because all of my doubting is kind of a blessing and a curse all wrapped up in one big crazy issue. It makes me study. It makes me go to The Word and find out for myself what it says. It makes me do research. It makes me pray the most heartfelt, needy prayers you've ever heard. It makes me humble. And it makes me connect deeply with quotes like this one that my husband ran across today:

"I prayed for faith, and thought that someday faith would come down and strike me like lightening. But faith did not seem to come. One day, I read in the tenth chapter of Romans, 'Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.' I had closed my Bible and prayed for faith. I now opened my Bible and began to study, and faith has been growing ever since." - D.L. Moody

 Mister Moody, I kinda know how you feel.

This week, I'm gonna take off my black fingernail polish (Yes, black. My husband thinks it's weird, too.) and put on some red polish - just to remember what love looks like. I'm gonna memorize Psalm 143:10 - and believe that God is leading me forward. I'm gonna open up my Bible and pray that it opens up my heart. All because of those inklings.