I'm in no condition to weave words today.
This past week was weird and weary-ridden.
Injuries, illness, and all manner of random frustrations darted their way to our family over the last several days.
I'm unraveling a tad.
And so...it's days like these when plans get ruined and hyped activities get scratched and phobia inducing situations arise..... that show my cores true colors.
Yes, it's days like these that I hole up at my desk and browse Bloomingdale's website for designer dresses I can't afford, imagining myself wearing them to gala's and galleries I'll probably never attend, while rubbing elbows with fancy people I'll probably never know.
You don't do that when the demands of motherhood turn you sour and life leaves you flailing?
That's just me?
It's kinda sad that this is my salve.
Escapism. I'm notorious for it.
Right there...spelled out for you in three syllables...es-cap-ism.....is an issue for me.
While I feel that this tendency can prove beneficial in certain arenas..... art, fiction, play writing, rest, envisioning a better society, etc....
It can reek absolute havoc on a heart or a home that needs present, realistic, rapt attention.
From my wee ages on - I have been a flight girl. I don't tend to fight well - I just tend to flee.
So now that I'm a Mama - I can't really run away (even if I tried, they would follow me).....so I do it in my head, instead.
You do know what I mean don't you?
Escapism can take on many different forms.
When life is crazy hard or humdrum or heavy - you find yourself turning to things or ideas or activities or thoughts that you think will help you cope or overcome.
And while envisioning how in the world you can make things better is a good thing......
....simply thinking about unrealistic futures or long-gone pasts or becoming obsessed with some activity.....these are not wholesome or helpful choices.
Sometimes, as much as I hate to admit it, we have to force our minds to be all in and ever present - to tend to the real life, often difficult and dreadful and dutiful tasks, that may arise.
Running out the door (physically or mentally) rarely solves anything.
We must learn....
Not to escape to a happy place - but to a holy God.
That doesn't mean that we don't daydream of Holy Spirit inspired tomorrows. That doesn't mean that we don't slip away for a quiet coffee alone sometimes. That doesn't mean that we don't enjoy visions of vacations or longed-for getaways. That doesn't mean that we don't ask for help....or accept a breather every now and then.
It simply means - that when duty calls....we are awake to answer.
Turning to mental fantasies rather than the Father and his provisions for the task at hand....can leave our lamps oil-less.
Escaping in the mind - keeps us from preparing and assessing and working....in the physical.
And we want to be women who have lamps lit and ready, right?
Yes, yes. Lord help us.
But...... all that being said....I really do like this one: