Mama to Mama

Motherhood. It's so invasive, isn't it?

It's a blessing, a gift, an honor, a miracle - but yes....down right invasive. It's that way from the start - from the two pink lines.

Starting there.... the concern and protectiveness - they invade something fierce.

And then it never stops.

After the invasion of having a person occupying your mid-section.....they come into the world and they invade your sleeping, your eating, your showering, your marriage, your schedule, your whole life - this new being just takes over all your territory.

And isn't it all just grand?

I can't help but smile as I type it all out here.

But..... there are moments when a Mama needs another Mama.

There are times when we need a female (other than our own parent) who has walked this road before - to come and pull us along a little.

And now that this home houses three of those little invaders (with one early wee one housed in Heaven) - I've become desperate for just that. Mentors. Warriors. Teachers in the things of the home - the things of a gracious wife - the things of a healthy marriage - the things of Christian motherhood.

So much so - that I've been on my knees over it. But if I'm being honest - I've also been feeling guilt over it, too. Because if I were just strong enough, if I just had it a little more together, if I just wasn't so weak - I wouldn't need anyone to come and show me the way of holy success in these things. That's been my thinking.

So the whole time I'm crying out to Him over this - I'm reeling inside because I feel like I shouldn't need the help. I feel guilty because it should just all come so naturally to me, right?

But our gracious God.

He swooped through right in the midst of all this - and He led me straight to Titus 2.

It's Paul's letter to his "true child in a common faith". (He calls Timothy something similar, by the way. Oh, what a wild and wonderful spiritual father Paul must have been to them!)

And in the second chapter of this somewhat controversial book - Paul instructs Titus to encourage the older women to 'teach what is good', and to 'train the young women to love their husbands and children....'

What did that say? Did Paul just tell Titus to tell the older women to teach the younger women how to live out motherhood and marriage?

He did.

So those women...they needed it too?

Uh huh.

And this is good for me to know.

And it might be good for you to know, too. Whether you've been a Mama for decades and still feel like you could use some help - or you're a woman who has seen the two pink lines only to see them fade in loss - or you're a women who longs to get that positive pt but hasn't .....don't feel guilty over needing some guidance and comradery through it all.

He knows. Ask like I am - and trust that in some form or fashion He will provide. Even if He simply gives us Himself - The Abba Father.....

...... He is enough.

But if He provides real, in the flesh women for you to sit under - oh glorify Him for it. Accept it, soak it in, and be grateful. Be vulnerable. Be humble enough to accept the instruction.

And then someday - when a little more of this is behind us - when the newness of motherhood turns into a seasoned motherhood....you'll be called on to turn back and pour in - to those young women that walk this road a few years behind you.

Know...that it's biblical.

And know that you aren't the only one needing a little support along the way.....

Because your friend here? She is too :)

Decibels

Louder isn't always better.

I wish I would have learned this 15 years ago. Instead I learned it about 15 minutes before sitting down to write this.

Understanding it earlier would have saved me from many obnoxious displays of high volume living.

I was under the notion that the louder your life is - the more successful you'll be - the more likely you'll be to stand out....get chosen....be heard.

And that's mostly true.

So I lived loud when it came to just about everything. (Except giving answers in class. Being loud with the wrong answer would only make me a loud loser.)

I had loud hair. Sometimes it was maroon. Sometimes it was super blond. Sometimes it was striped maroon and super blond.

I had a loud mouth when it came to beliefs and opinions. And I would debate with no signs of mercy or grace over religion and politics.

I had loud clothes. I wore Christian t-shirts some days...only to turn around and wear too tight, too low, bust hugging v-necks other days. Anything different...anything attention-grabbing. Snake skin. Leopard velvet. Sequined shiny.

And as I look back on that teenager....I want so badly for her to know that all that loudness - it only leaves you lost.

Being loud - it's not always what He's wanting from us.

Because just today....I ran across some scriptures that spoke loud about being quiet.

The NLT puts 1 Peter 3:4 like this....

Don't be concerned by the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.

 

I could just almost cry. I've read this before - but it hits me hard today.

 

As does 1 Timothy 2:2 - where Paul mentions 'living peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity.'

 

And 1 Thessalonians 4:11 - Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands.....

 

Do you have any idea how this speaks to a woman who has always believed that the front-and-center, lights-camera-action, chosen-one mentality was what wins - even in Christ's arena?

 

As an adult I have practiced loud living for self-gain. It wasn't just a teen thing. I have even practiced loud living for Kingdom-gain.

 

And that last one - this is where it gets tricky. But it's also where it gets important.

 

How should we shout Him from the rooftops?

 

How should we display what Christ has done for us?

 

How do we stand up for what's right and just?

 

......without being so annoyingly loud that the world's ears close?

 

Maybe it includes these two things:

 

 1) Letting our worship, actions, works, and love be louder than our mouths, hair, signs, and outfits. Perhaps we should let our walk be louder than our talk....our bell-ringing more pronounced than our mouth-squawking.

 

and....

 

 2) Being okay with finding ourselves nameless and faceless to the world - as long Jesus' name and face are out front and exalted.

 

But really - I'm still wading through it all. This is something I'm gonna have to keep in the fore-front for a while....

 

How to live a loud life for Him....quietly.

 

He's after me on this right now. God might be speaking to you about the opposite - about raising the volume a tad in certain areas. But for me - He's wanting some quietness and reservation.

 

And He's probably wanted it for almost two decades now. And here I am - just now getting it :)

 

His patience abounds.

 

 

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Now before I sign off - if you're sitting there with striped hair and snake skin pants...don't think for a second that I'm totally against those things. I'm not. I just carried it out all wrong - for all the wrong reasons - in all the wrong ways. It's me that couldn't handle it well. You might do it beautifully. Love to you all :)

Welcome!

I feel like I've just invited a party of people over to my house while it's still a mess.

Welcome, friends. If you've come over from my old blog - thank you so much for making the journey to this new spot with me. If you're dropping in all new and wondering what's going on....take a look at this, please?

Yes....a mess. I don't even have a profile scrawled out yet. I haven't even really figured out how to describe this whole crazy thing. So I apologize! And I ask for your kind patience as I shuffle my way around these new parts!

Why ringing bells, you ask?

They call, they signal, they remind, they beckon, they invite, they warn.

And as Christ's own.....aren't we called to ring in all these things? Service, love, compassion, study, generosity, joy, purpose, prayer, worship, wisdom?

That's what this is...a call to really live for Him. And a call to invite others to do the same.

It will be simple. I'm hoping for no frill, fluff, or distraction.

I actually purchased a domain of my own - and then sold it back. Why pay for a whole website when you can scratch things out for free on a blog service? That money is now being sent to charity and it feels good to have it going there, rather than here. (More of my life should work that way.)

So in this place - instead of a ringing of the hands.....let's have a bending of the knees.

Let's turn worry and weariness in to worship and wisdom. Let's learn and encourage and grow and mature and witness, shall we?

For now - this homeschooling Mama to three....plans on writing at least two times a week. Probably Tuesdays and Fridays. In between posts - I'll be living life just like you will - so when we meet together here on posting days.... we can hash out reality and look to Him for help through it all.

May His Words ring loud here! Yes, Lord!

Glad to have you along!

Blessings and Joy,
Kate :)

How to Really Inspire

Mama's shouldn't just sit on the shore lines.

I sat there in a cheap lawn chair - watching my oldest two tinker with gulf water.

My shoes on and laced tight - they weren't coming off. I made a proclamation years ago - that I would never let the souls of my feet step on ground I couldn't see....like at the beach. Because you never know when you will step on a jellyfish or a crab or a broken piece of glass or something.

Better safe than sorry.

But slothing there on the warm shore - watching my kids really live -  my husband walks up all barefoot and sandy and says, "Come on, babe. Take your shoes off."

And right about that time - I look up and see my oldest inching closer and closer to bigger waters - and farther and farther away from me. One of us is about to have a thrill - and it's probably not gonna be the one all safe in her cheap lawn chair...

So before I even knew what I was doing - I unraveled the laces and slipped off the socks. I rolled up my jeans mid-shin and I left the chair and headed toward the water - where my children had been playing silly and laughing happy all afternoon.

And this is huge. Normal and expected for most beach-goers, but new and brave for me.

After daring to step on unseen ground - and splashing in washed up water (and loving it!)....and basking in fresh sun...the Spirit spoke clear. (Because He tends to do so when we choose to step out into the uncharted. He tends to speak loud when we step in places we can't see - simply because we hear Him calling. God's presence seems to be thickest when we push past what's known, what's calculated, what's safe.)

Abandoned chairs and left-behind-sand-buckets and and swept-out-to-sea-sand-shovels are a good, beautiful thing. It means their owners decided to dive in - no longer content to just see the waves - but needing to feel them. It's all in the experience.

And do we have any idea what kind of an impact this has on our offspring? Do we have any idea the damage done and the limits drawn when we don't cannon-ball right in?

Our kids will go so much farther in life - when we are out there with them. Making a splash in the world does much more for our kids than clapping does. When you're sitting on the sidelines just yelling for them to go out and make big waves....there's really not much power in that. Children need to see their elders contributing, risking - to know how to do it themselves.

Mama's (and grandmama's and aunts and cousins and friends) should not just follow the babes around - making them the center of the universe. Mama's (and grandmama's and aunts and cousins and friends) should get out there and really live this wild journey. Because when kids see us serving and loving and focusing and disciplining and sacrificing and doing - they see a life lived out well....and they'll want to join you. And they'll want to surpass you. And this is good. It's what we should want.

All too often our children beg us to get up and join them - instead of us getting up, rising up, showing up - encouraging them to join us. And this is a travesty.

So let's start today.

There are great big seas to see. And great big waves to ride. And lots of children to inspire - three of them live right here under my wing. But am I flying them anywhere?

I must remember - while it might not be 100% safe - while it might make me weary tired at times....while it might mean that little bits of the beach will end up in every corner of my mini man - while it might mean that my clothes are gonna get wet....at least my soul won't run dry.

And neither will theirs.

Sunday

I'm sitting here listening to the whir of a ceiling fan thinking back on Sunday, and wondering what tidbits would be good to share here.

I think I'll start with cinnamon toast....

With the one hour time difference added to the time change - my children now think they should spring from their beds well before the sun breaks through....so we got up pre-dawn, put some tea on, and made breakfast.

While I'm not usually a big fan of fatty cooking - I bent the rules a bit and made real cinnamon toast. I did, however, use less butter than the recipe calls for - just to make myself (and my arteries) feel better. It was devoured in a matter of minutes. Anytime you combine things like cinnamon and nutmeg and butter and vanilla and then smear it across a loaf of something only to bake and broil it in an oven....it's probably going to taste good. And it did.

So, with full bellies we ventured off to church.

And church was nice...just about as weird as I thought it would be...but we made it. There were no meltdowns. (There almost was...read on.) The kids had super nice teachers. The sermon pierced me and I'm still reeling over it. (Sermons should tear at us for a while, you know. They should hang around long enough to change us for good.) The people were kind and I only freaked over one thing:

When I looked up on stage and saw six large cups filled with juice - I reasoned that we were taking communion that day. Awesome. But then I also reasoned that there were only six cups....and I got this picture in my head of everyone in my section going up and drinking out of the same one. Oh mercy....this would cause me to have fits. (Hello, germs.) So I leaned over to my husband and said....."There are only big cups of juice....um....that can't mean that we are all..." and before I could even finish he said, "They are for dipping.....not drinking".

Oh.

Whew! Meltdown and fit avoided.

Anyhow...

Worshiping with a different body of believers was a smidge awkward....it brought some sadness....it made me want to be at my old church - but all in all we grew as a result. And we will do it over again next Sunday.

Because fellowship and learning and congregating and corporate worship - they are all designed to be a part of the Christian life.

In Ohio and here. Help me with the change, Lord. I need it.

This Sunday

I'm rummaging through boxes and suitcases tonight - looking for clothes that my kids can wear to church tomorrow.

And it feels weird.

Settling into our rent house - over a thousand miles away from the only church my little blondes have ever known....it hits me hard....

I'll walk into a church building tomorrow and I won't know how to sign my kids up for class. I won't know what kid to drop off where. I won't hug hardly any necks and I won't be able to ask about anybody's Mama - because I won't know their Mama. I won't talk to anyone about last week's connect group, I won't speak to anyone about the next women's event, I won't leave my seat to intercede during prayer ministry time, and I won't wave at anyone on my way back out to the van.

And tonight....this makes me sad. A little excited to see what God has planned for us here.....but vulnerable and timid and nervous.....and sad.

However....

(With Jesus there is always a 'however')

....when we bust out of what's known simply because we feel like God told us to.....He shows up in all kinds of crazy ways....

....peace, provision, calm, joy.

And this is what makes it all worth it. He's proven Himself so faithful to meet us out on the limb.

Nothing compares, really.

So tomorrow, I'll slip my Bible into my over-packed book bag, pray over services here and there, dress my kids in wrinkled clothes, drive down some highways with the help of a GPS, walk into a church building with that 'I'm new and completely lost' look, drop my children off with teachers I do not know, listen to a sermon with scriptures read from a different translation, inquire about all kinds of things from service opportunities to first and last names, and then I'll buckle all of my kids back into their seat belts - and we'll talk about what they learned that morning...and what they are going to do with it.

Because yes, He has us here to do...to learn...to experience.... and He will accomplish those things even if I am feeling a tad out of it.

Especially if I'm feeling a tad out of it.

Because getting outside of ourselves is where He really wants us.

And He is giddy about revealing Himself to us there.

Thoughts on James

I got up early and sat down in the corner chair. Dawn was breaking, and proof of it had already started to leak through the hotel curtains.

I sat there - with my ESV draped across my lap - knowing I needed some divine direction that day.

He must have known it too. Because when I landed on James 3 and my eyes scanned verses 13-18 - it was as if the text was in bold italics with a 'Dear Kate' prefacing the passage...

Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

I couldn't get past the first verse.

Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the     

                                                               meekness of wisdom.....

My husband tossed around in the bed and rolled over to face me...... and as I caught a glimpse of his open eyes, I read it aloud.... and even from a sleepy stupor, it hit him bold, too.

Because of our fresh situation - we had ready ears...and needy hearts. It was as if we had never visited that passage before....and our hearts received it with a nod of agreement and a complete understanding of it's pertinence.....

There we were - in a new city - scouting out our life, really....a rent house, a faith family, doctors, banks. The day before, we had visited a church and the people there welcomed us warm. They hugged our necks and gave us pointers and introduced us to others and invited us into their homes for dinner. These people - they lived these verses....they lived the 'by his good conduct let him show his works in the  meekness of wisdom' thing. Seeing scripture walked out - it teaches and convinces and loves like nothing else. We've got to get this.

And the rest of that passage - all the mentions of jealousy and selfish ambition...does that strike anyone else? It slaps me right across the face and back again.

The passage then goes so far as to say that the fruit of an envious, self-seeking heart.... is disorder and every vile practice. And it also goes on to say that these things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic.

That's pretty blatant language, friends. There's no beating around the bush here.

This scripture cuts right through. What's more - is that I felt the Spirit directing these words right at me. This does more than step on my toes...it brings me right straight to my knees.

And it should. I confess it. I've harbored a selfishly ambitious heart - even in ministry. I've exhibited such petty jealousy - even amongst friends. It's there. And if He is addressing it - I better, too.

Purity, peace, gentleness, an openness to reason, mercy, good fruits, impartiality, sincerity and peace will break forth if I do.