Digging In

The load of laundry in the dryer is on its fourth 'fluff'.

The school papers from last year are fluttering about the school room as I turn on the ceiling fan.

There are game pieces littered throughout the living room.
 
And at this point...I'm refusing to walk through my house barefoot. I've put my foot down on putting my foot down.

Because?

My floors are filmed over with yuck.

All this...and I spin around our home all day doing pick ups and sweep ups and round ups...

...and still... the unfolded laundry, and the papers, and the game pieces, and the filmed floors - remain.

It boggles me.

But it shouldn't.

Because...

When you keep your kids at home....your home is gonna look like it.

When you cook and bake....your kitchen is gonna show it.

When people sit around your table...the cup rings and crumbs will prove it.

And all this.....it's good. Messy....but good.

It means life is happening. People are pulsating. Memories are in the making.

But it's also true...that I am the one responsible for making this rent house a place of growth and restoration.

RESToration.

And yuck floors aren't so great for that.

The season I'm in...calls for a lot of quick cleaning spurts. But really, every once in a while...you have to go deeper.

You have to get to the grime by really scrubbing....beyond the surface.

So today...I'm whipping out the mop and doing just that here in my home.

And within a few days...I'll be exploring this a little more here on the blog, too.

The digging in. The deep cleaning. The focused and set aside cleansing sessions.

In my house...I'm doing the floors. But on the blog...we'll be doing the heart.

Spirit fall on us.

Stay tuned?

I hope you do :)
 

Watch

He was just sitting there on the ottoman....one foot tucked under his little eighteen month old diapered bottom, the other foot dangling....eating a bowl of freshly diced strawberries.

And I sat there, too.

And just watched him chew.

 *****

She was propped up on the middle cushion of the living room couch, snack in hand, favorite TV show splashing across the screen, feet just hanging all pigeon toed in four year old fashion.....enjoying a little down time.

And I sat there, too.

And just watched her enjoy.

*****

He was strapped into his booster nice and tight, way back in the third row of the van, twitching his nose, looking out the window....soaking in the scenery.

And I sat there, too.

And watched the seven year old in the rear view mirror.

*****

The way they blink.....

The way their feet sway from perched high car seats.....

The way they swipe wispy hair from faces.....

The way they kick shoes from tired feet....

The way they wipe a dirty mouth with a sweep of a hand....

The way they side sleep - clasping some stuffed animal....
The way they run Matchbox cars up and around a counter....
The way they bounce a baby doll....
The way they gum their Cheerios....
The way they cling to your skirt fringe....

The way they walk - stride short and rhythmic.....

Precious, precious moments.

Simple moments. Ordinary moments. Albeit precious.

Mama's....Daddy's,

We should watch our wee ones when they aren't watching.

We should admire the masterpieces that wonder our homes.

We should take note of them - when they are doing a bunch of nothing, even.

Admittedly....there will be time-outs and the taking away of toys and the reprimands and the embarrassments and the spills and the millions of little insane moments....

but in between frustrations....
in between hurried drives.....
in between drop offs and pick ups....
in between doctor's visits and snacks and diaper bag packing...

Just stop and breathe them in.

Someday you'll be glad you did.

Something Different

It's the wild ones that ring in the most wonder sometimes.

Down here - the flowers grow in pinks and purples and yellows and blues and reds - along the highways, beside the biways, next to intersections, between sidewalk plates of concrete.

And they grow all wild and free! Seeds that just happened to land and take root.....they spring up in all their glory - all while no human really planned or planted them.

Even the weeds sprout vibrant colors here!

Upon request..... my Dad traipsed through high grass to pick a sweet bunch of gloriously purple native flowers for me yesterday. They are sitting on the counter, next to the stove, in a Henn glass now....making the whole kitchen smile.

Before they were plucked from the ground, however - they stood just above the grass top in a field....holding firm in a sturdy southern breeze. Their deep hue and oddity - all situated roadside in dry Texas brush - naturally caught my eye. A splash of lovely in a straggly field!

 And so we took a pause from our walk and meandered over to take note of the beauty.

Because really.... we should stop and stoop a little more often, don't you think?

And really we should let loose and live free a little more often, too.

Because we Christ-followers - we must be careful to not become too careful. We must be watchful. And tender. And sensitive.....to protect ourselves from becoming so stanch...so routine...so stuck in the tradition or habit or rule - that we don't respond to or welcome the Holy Spirit wafting in.

Our plans, our agendas, our schedules, our maps and charts and carefully planned out chapters - should allow for some wiggle room.

Why?

Because when we leave wide open spaces available to the Lord - when we admit that perhaps He has an alternate plan, when we see that He is still speaking and longing to move amongst His people, when we realize that indeed....He is still in the business of doing the unexpected - when we bow low and lift our lives up......He shows up!

For far too long I have allowed the known and comfortable to trump the new and different.

I think there is a turning of a page going on here.

A flipping of a leaf.

(Do read this.....for some well-written, wisdom-filled evidence of the shift.)

 It seems as if the tide is changing and the winds of the Spirit are begging to envelope us.

But....

It's up to us.

We decide.

Oh, God help Your sons and daughters! Help us to not put a ceiling on when and who and where you want to touch. Help us to untie our tightly wound knots. Help us to allow Your Spirit to let loose in the ways You see fit. Lest we thwart You!

I just feel it. There's a movement. There's this peculiar reawakening to the power and might and work of the third person in the trinity. It's as if He is groaning and ready...  pounding on the door to let Him in...to our churches, our homes, our very hearts!

It's time!

Like the wild and beautiful flowers that pop up around these parts..... where no hand planted them.....where no master landscaping plan panned out - but simply where the winds carried seed that took root......

Let us be biblically wild! Let us welcome His goodness anywhere, anyhow, with any whom!

Yes, come Holy Spirit, do come!

A Trip and a Prayer

It's weird flying away from the nest...

...even for just a little while.

Because children - they ring in so much love and laughter and learning....but they also steal your head space. They move in and occupy all your thinking...so that even when you aren't physically with them - your mind's eye is.

When you whisk away from your world for a weekend - you find your thoughts meandering right back to the world you know. Especially when your offspring are there.

So, hopping a plane north last week - was odd. I found myself a bit lost without each cherub attached to my disjointed hip.

But alas...

The doors of Ohio were open.... and we were tightly embraced by the familiar on Sunday.

With arms spread wide - our former church family welcomed us right back in. Truly...a gift!

With the pastor on sabbatical - my husband did a little filling in.

I had watched my husband prepare all week long - so while I knew that his sermon was about pride - I had no idea that, really....his sermon was about me.

I was utterly convicted.

Shocked at the Spirit's power on the whole thing.....I'm still reeling it over in my heart. Good, good word.

I sit here today, however - back in the nest. Back to the crumbs and the Legos and the diapers. Back to a mountain of library books and overflowing laundry baskets.

And one would think that after having some time away - I would be a perky and refreshed Mommy - all ready to handle her wee ones with a smile....but that has not happened this week, my friends.

I've been on edge and a tad perturbed at things.

Perhaps I was spoiled this past weekend? Perhaps I'm tired from the whirlwind trip? Perhaps it's God bringing my pride to the surface and showing me that really - I don't have anything together. Only He does.

All three of those, maybe?

So as I'm in the midst of all this - the sermon pondering, the squawking toddler, the crumbs...(that.are.everywhere)....maybe you too - are feeling a bit frayed this week?

Maybe a bit incapable? Unmotivated? Overwhelmed?

Stop the frenzy for a moment - and pray with me....

Oh Father, we pause. We recognize that You alone provide patience, and joy, and contentment....productivity, and peace, and love. Aline us with Your will. Let Your desires for our lives - be our desires for our lives. Sustain us in our current seasons and give us hope and ability for future ones. Grow our faith. Reveal Yourself to us in new and refreshing ways. Renew in us - right spirits. Let us be light - here in our homes, at workplaces, at church, in the community. Love through us. We are grateful for Your presence and for your faithfulness. Bring peace, God. In Jesus, Amen.

Jesus

I have a piece posted over at EverydayLCC today. Just thought I would share it here, too. The post had to be in 365 words or less. I think I turned it in at 364? :) My prayer is that you have a revelation-filled week, friends. Blessings to you!

***************

I am Thomas and He comes to me.

It’s true. I’ve struggled with faith. I’ve wrestled with doubt. And I’ve tasted the bitterness of unbelief. I have had seasons where I've all but walked away from the Lord over it.

But every time I think that my faith is done for and that belief and trust are nowhere to be found….

He reveals Himself.

And He reveals Himself over and over and over again.

Just last week – I was grappling with some faith issues and so I decided to go for a run, listen to some worship music, and pray. With each jolt of the pavement – I prayed earnestly for Him to unveil my eyes so that I could see Him in certain areas again. I asked desperately for the Lord to stir my faith and make it flourish.

The next morning - during my quiet time - I had remembered a poem title that kept being brought to my attention several weeks prior. I decided to finally look it up and see if it was something God was bringing to my attention for a reason.

“The Hound of Heaven” by Francis Thompson was the poem. While I’m still dissecting this difficult piece….the main gist of the poem is that no matter how hard we run away from the Lord – He is chasing us.…like a hound dog after a hare. I was shocked by the subject of the poem – in light of the struggles and prayers I had dealt out the day before. It spoke to my situation so clearly! 

But… Christ is a confirmer. He will reiterate things to us that He really wants us to know. And what happened later on that day – was Him doing just that! I sat down to read a favorite blog while the littlest Harden was napping – and the blog post was about Jesus being ‘The Hound of Heaven’….the One who pursues us! The blog author even linked the very same poem to her post.

Incredible!

He comes to me! Like He did for Thomas (John 20:24-27). Like He did for the sinner in the poem.

And He’ll do the same for you.

Weird

Tonight...I'm in my twenties. Tomorrow....I won't be.

This is both wonderful and weird. Wild, even.

 I don't exactly know how to process it.

On one hand...I'm extremely grateful for having breath in my lungs, children under my wings, and a husband who extends undeserved grace daily (hourly, moment by moment). But on the other hand - I'm downright losing it.

How did this happen? When did I grow up? Where did the twenties go?

It's boggling.

Hello, Thirty. Where did you come from? You're actually here. Right here.

So weird.

Alas...

Perhaps we should make the most of this?

Perhaps.

Because to be honest....I have an odd hopefulness about it all.....a rare expectancy.....a notion.... that God will move and speak and grow and inhabit...in a new, full way....

....that good things....good fruit....is on the horizon.

And for a pessimist - that's really saying something.

So....

Twenties! Bid adieu. I leave you a smidge flabbergasted that you have come and gone - but I also leave you filled with a real sense of excitement.

A new decade is dawning! And when you're walking with God - that's always a thrill.

Always.

The turning of a page. The starting of a new chapter. The opening of a door.

Doesn't it make you a bit giddy with hope?

New opportunities for Him to come through. New ways for Him to provide. New ideas and inklings to scavenge. New obstacles to overcome. New paths to wonder. New truths to discover.

This is good. This is a gift.

A birthday...another year...another season - the thought of what awaits....what goodness!

Lord, come. In this new age of mine - do come. And mature me. And round me out. And make the fear flee. Let me walk in Your ways - and let me teach the little ones that follow me....to do the same. Bring joy. Set me free to laugh. Empower this woman. Help me to do better....to live better. Speak to and through me. I'm desperate for You to do so. Oh God! I'm grateful.

Just Glow

He preaches to me the most when he's praying.

When he's pausing over me...over us....and spilling out all these pleas and thanksgivings....He teaches me much.

As we sat at the dining table one afternoon several weeks ago - my husband lifted up the following...

"God, please help us to grow in You and in faith - not just for fruit, but for relationship."

Not just for fruit.

But for relationship.

I wanted to spring up mid prayer and grab my sermon journal.

Because that one line....it was a thorough teaching on growth.

A lesson I struggle to grasp.

And that prayer...straight from the Spirit...barreling past my husband's lips - it was a prayer for me that I didn't even know I needed.

(A picture of the Spirit doing the Spirit's job, indeed.)

While it's true that having a deep relationship with the Lord brings about much fruit, social justice, sound teachings, and good works....

dare I say that most times....

those things shouldn't be the reason we pursue Him?

They are a result of pursuing Him. They are not the sole purpose.

The purpose of prayer, reading, studying, fellowship, fasting, etc.....is to know Him more. To be made more like Him. To bask in His presence and become new there.

And certainly the result - is that goodness spills out in every way.

Those of us who learn as teachers.....those of us who feel like we need to regurgitate everything we soak in - those of us who study out of wanting something to put out.....

.....this prayer is for us.

We should want relationship with Him - for relationship....not just reciprocation.

We should want Him....for Him.

Because when we get the Lord - we get all kinds of love to carry out.

Really, we are beings that have to hear from Him....just to go about the day. To go about it good, anyway.

To crave time with the Lord alone - means that we know...we understand....we see - that nuggets and truths and wisdom and a soaking from Him are what our souls need. Not tidbits to share on a blog, or chapters to put in a book, or points for a sermon, or jabs for a debate, or intelligent quips for a discussion.

Some of those things will come as a result - but they shouldn't be the motivation.

Those things may flow naturally out of solid time with Him - but they shouldn't be the reason we seek Him at all.

The reason we seek Him should be that we can't not seek Him and carry on content and able.

All of that being said...I shouldn't leave this post without mentioning Matthew 10:27.

'What I tell you in the dark, say in the light, and what you hear whispered, proclaim on the housetops.'

Ah, yes. We are called to speak, teach, write - what He speaks, teaches, and writes to us. Being watchful the whole time - to not fall into Joseph's way (Genesis 37) of sharing revelations that were really only meant for us....careful to not fall into Simon's way (Acts 8:9-24...do read it!) of desiring the power of the Holy Spirit - simply so that we can amaze crowds.

Perhaps this was only for me.

But if it wasn't - if you find yourself caught up in seeking Him yourself....simply to sale Him to others....

know that there's a glow that comes from simply growing in God.

And that glow will illuminate your heart - and the other hearts that you're called to bless.