A Tuesday by the Sea

I have wind in my face and salted air in my nostrils.

There's pebble rocks underfoot and high reaching cliff mounds surround.

The water...

It's a blue-green till that matches the shade of my husband's eyes perfectly.

The sky is smeared and spotted with puffs of white.

I need the sun to poke through.

Warmth would be wonderful.

I've been drawn by maritime images as of late.

The past year maybe, has found me seeking out paintings of boats and anchors and shores.

Having it here and in person - is sweet.

Looking at this mass body of liquid - it makes me wonder why we spend so much of our lives on dirt.

Why? If we've been placed on a planet that's over 70% sea - why not live on it some? Why not take to adventurous waves more often?

I see more beach visits approaching.

God, is this a desire that comes from You?

I need the sun to poke through.

There's a lady and gent with a pup making their way along the shoreline - eyes earthward looking for goods washed up by the sea.

The waters are vast.

So, so wide and so very far reaching.

Like His love.

The hubs handed me a notebook and pen, directed me to a rock big enough for my bum to rest on...and suggested I write a little.

As I sit here on the coast - I feel I'm on the cusp.

And my mind wonders to the wordsmiths who have been inspired to jot and scribble and form characters on pages through the ages.

These waters here - have inspired many a poet to pick up the pen.

God, is this why I'm on the edge of England?

I need the sun to poke through.

So I set this ballpoint to modern papyrus - and I let creased feelings unfold there.

Monday Thoughts

I'm lounging here at the tail end of a good long day.

Our suitcases are all propped up before me, waiting to be zipped up again for another drive tomorrow.

The husband is tending to business back home.

I'm surrounded by wallpapered floral walls and matchy-matchy thick curtains. It's a floral print that sends you back to another century.

It's so English.

The days journey was a display of color.

The greens in the landscape here are so, so green.

The yellow fields of rapeseed are neon.

The lilac flowers that spill over old stone walls are solid and sure in their color.

And the tulips!

They look fake they're so fine.

It appears to me that God used a highlighter to create this place.

And the people....

I'm surprised by this thread of sweetness that runs through so many of the personalities I've encountered here.

It isn't loud.

It isn't giddy in your face.

It's calm and steady - this underlying warmth in the hearts of people... that I wasn't expecting.

Perhaps London will be a different experience on this front.

But the folks that are found out in the villages and towns of this island have been sincerely obliging.

There was a strange spirit about Oxford, and it's outskirts.

I still can't put my finger on it and call it a name.... but the gut feeling I got around that place was one I haven't felt before.

There was no eye contact. Very few lifted their eyes.

And there is somewhat of a void heaviness that surrounds.

But the buildings.....the structures that stand around that campus - they are breathtaking.

We took communion at Christ Church early, early in the A.M.

There wasn't much going on spiritually inside the building, if I'm being honest. At least not for me that morning.

But the architecture was alive and brilliant.

Standing inside....thinking about who all has stepped foot in that place....kings, prime ministers, religious leaders, literaries - it was moving.

We then headed out west - and the landscaping is prettier there than all the postcards I've ever seen put together.

Our Sunday

I woke up wanting to worship.

Opening my eyes this morning - I longed to congregate with like-minded believers who would stand in awe and adoration and longing with me today.

And, thankfully, this was on the agenda.

Kingsgate Church in Peterborough welcomed us sweetly.

Their church is diverse. Sixty different nations are represented, and the age range is of the wide variety. 

Lots of grey hairs and glasses...

mixed with bellies blossoming with babies...

mixed with tots poking around waiting on mums to finish conversations.

Standing with these fellow believers this morning in worship and sitting in rows with them under teaching....it boosted me right where I needed it.

But at this current hour, I am bundled.

Bundled up tight under a B&B blanket.

It's a bit frigid in this musky old room here - and I'm glad I yielded to the nudge to pack my warm hat.

I'll be sleeping in it tonight.

We're in the Oxford area now.

I'm not sure what to make of it thus far. I'll get a better feel for it on the flip side.

Lord bring Your light and lightness here.

I'm tearing up a bit - just feeling like the Lord is saying...

"Wherever you are....I AM."

This brings me great comfort.

Tomorrow we plan to emerge early...before all the scholars rise for instruction and before the bustle of the university day begins.

There is a prayer service being offered just down the way at the crack of the day - and we want to catch it.

Therefore, I should catch some winks.

Lord, we're looking and listening around every corner and bend.

Day One

England is old.

When you get in your 'hired car' and make your way down the opposite side of the road, nervously spin the roundabouts, and speed past fields of green and yellow - you spot quite a few very, very old structures.

Thatch roofed homes.
Tall grey office buildings.
Small aged pubs squeezed into downtown village areas.

America's buildings are young pups compared to these.

When you sit at dinner and face stone mortar walls built centuries and centuries ago - you feel a bit immature and you feel humble.

It's almost as if you sense you need to respect the area simply for it's oldness.

Simply because it has seen much and stayed standing.

There's a reverence that has seeped in since those hot rubber tires skid the runway.

And we have only been here for one day. There's more things to see and feelings to feel coming soon, I'm sure.

I'm here....to hear, Lord. 

And I'm on this soil to be stirred by You. 

We relax God, knowing that you have beckoned us over to Britain - and that you will begin to unfold why in your way and fine timing. Yes, God. Thank you.

The husband has already slipped into a good slumber.

His traveling companion here should do the same.

I'm shutting my eyes tonight bowed and impressed and expectant.

Love to you from the Old Country, friends.

It's Here

I'm up early, early today.

As soon as I land in England tomorrow, what is usually morning for me will be afternoon, suddenly.

So I sit here and write and pray and ponder and wonder in the budding hours of Friday - prepping for the fast forward.

Forging through the cobwebs that sleepiness brings, I'm attempting to rehash all the inklings.

All the crazy wild hunches and words and leadings - that have lead us to actually soar over seas of blue.

And it's comforting for me today.

This is when it is good and right to look back.

This is when it is wise to look in the rear view mirror and see Him clearly guiding, providing, steering.

It mounts up faith.

And it sturdies me... to hop continents and discover.

But if I'm being totally forthright - it confuses me a tad, too.

Why? When there are so many atrocities folding out as I type these very words here - would I be providentially guided and encouraged and led and indulged like I have when it comes to England?

Why? In a world that groans and aches for relief and justice even at this very hour - would I be so sweetly but almost sillily directed in such fashion?

Why? When there are people being ravaged for their faith choices, and children being enslaved and violated, and humans that are severely hungry?

Why am I here on the same watch - all giddy and inspired and filled with faith so joyfully over the fact that He has distinctly spoken and provided for me in this?

And He clearly has.

But I am mystified over the contrast.

I can't help but to think, however....

In all the inklings, and all the prophetic words, and all the divine guidance that has ever been given or seen in the history of the earth - that all of it....

...has at it's root the heart of God to bring salvation and restoration and healing to the whole wide wounded world.

Encouragements and encounters and holy leadings are not given to simply bless the person they are dealt to, alone. They are to somehow endow others as well. Or maybe even mostly.

Knowing the love of Christ, this is most certainly so.

As I wing away to the UK today - I trust that the plan and heart of God in all this runs deep and stretches wide and crosses class, cause, and continent.

Yes, Father.

As I have access, I plan to pen some things out while I am away. 

And I'm hoping that some of those words find their way here to the blog spot. 

I covet your prayers over it all.

Tuesday Snapshot

I'm sitting here on the early fringe of Tuesday...

about to bust.

The days are few between me and my England now.

Only three more sleeps until I fly high over land and water to answer a along distance call.

I'm thrilled to go - but at the same time gripped by leaving my littles for longer than a week.

I am a Mama of the nest.

I've shared before that I don't leave the walls I inhabit much.

Me and these little birdies I raise are tucked into this small rent house together for the vast majority of our waking hours. I'm very much used to having three blond birds nestled under my wing.

But now these wings are spreading to full fruition and taking flight for a bit...

and it feels funny.

Lord, ease the anxiety here please. Yes. Get me back to my assignments safely. Amen.

The orange of the rising sun is filling the eastern sky this morning.

More and more of the hue touching blue...

In just minutes the hot fireball that lights our days will make it's entrance once more.

It's mind blowing if you really think about it.

Let us do that today, maybe?

Stop to pause and ponder the existence of life, the order that's found, the miracle of it all?

I have more of a tendency to stare at the ugly and twisted and evil myself. It's there too I am well aware.

But not all things have been tainted completely. There is still beauty and goodness - and I need to behold it more.

The sun has peaked up over the horizon now. It's found a place to settle and shine - on the leaves of palms out back.

The husband has his morning workout underway. I could use a dose of his self-discipline.

The laundry basket in the bathroom is overflowing and needs a good emptying. Crazy how quickly it fills.

There is a race car track resting next to the couch.

And books happily littering the living room.

And folders and papers and lists galore lining my table and bar.

We have piano this morning, and school lessons to complete, and dishes to load and reload, and a flag football game to compete in tonight, and bags to pack.

Ah, bags to pack!

The blonds are waking, but playing in their shared space.They are allowed to charge the gate in thirty minutes.

Get the post published Mama. 

May your Tuesday be filled with faith, revelation, and a new noticing of what's good.

Hugs all around.

Going

We'll wing away on the prayers of many late next week.

The pastor and I - we will board a jetliner, climb high over clouds, settle into a stratosphere, speed over a vast Atlantic pond during the mid-night hours, skid rubber on a runway...

and....

step foot on fine British soil.

All these years here....of the Lord pointing us to that place....of God guiding us, surprising us, searing us for that nation - we are bulleting across waters to see what's waiting.

To see what will unfold before us as we rummage through that old place seeking Him.

He's there.

And we plan on knocking our way through England to hear and see the God who beckons folks to a distant land sometimes.

My palms are up. My eyes are wide and searching. My ears are perked....for revelation.

But I am nervous.

I have staked much on this. I have written and shared and spoken openly now about how the Lord has hounded us on that area.

And I'm finding myself.... climbing out on this bizarre limb to see what in the world He's doing.

And everyone knows that I am.

And so I wonder and hope and trust that I can come back and land here with arms full of some faith-inspiring fruit to share.

I'm also bidding good-bye to my blonds for 9 days.

And Mama is not accustomed to being away from her cubs for so long.

The grip of all this struck me hard and flashing the morning after the tickets were booked.

Within moments of the worrisome feelings rising up to my throat however, I received a text from a Spirit-yielded friend (who had no idea about our trip) saying this:

"I was praying for you this morning, and I felt I was supposed to send you this verse...

Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you." - Deuteronomy 31:8 NLT

Yeah.

It makes me tearful even now rehashing that moment. 

He sees, and knows, and goes before us....personally.

Therefore, I will be stepping off a plane, heart beating fast in expectation....to press into this personal God who guides us so, so faithfully.

I'm winging away on prayers.... 

And trusting I'll wing back flying high on fresh sweet faith. 

 

 

Possibilities

Yesterday was his first preach as a pastor.

I had to pause there after punching the keys..... because the wildness of this startles and quiets me.

In God's good grace, he's been opening scripture in front of congregations for a while now.

But for him to do it - as a full-time and official shepherd...it's hushing.

Sitting there on the front row scribbling notes, listening to inspired speech flow from my own husband's mouth, thoughts and points that I my own self needed to hear and inhabit - I shook my head at the possibilities of a person....

when God gets hold of them.

2010 is a favorite year of mine.

It was the year the Lord tapped my guy on the shoulder, and pretty much said....

enough.

Enough of the addiction, striving, wondering, complacency.

Enough of doing things Derek's way.

Enough of straining over ideas and aspirations that aren't of Me.

And so that year... he was set free and flying from a decades long addiction to pornography.

He was led and shaped and inspired by another man - a mentor - who still to this day pours into my husband all kinds of divine.

He was filled with a veracious desire for scripture, teaching, revelation. And he was killed of all sorts of hidden sin.

He got real, and honest, and hungry.

And it changed everything.

Men - when a guy fully submits to God and decides to be transparent and lead well.... his family follows suit.

This tapping of the shoulder from the Lord - it touched all of us.

I cringe to think what would have happened to our family here - if my husband hadn't decided to sit down, and let the Holy Spirit stand up.

So yesterday, I saw this man that put this ring on my finger - up there being used as a conduit and chord for God's wisdom and love....

and I remember the kid I fell in love with. Big biceps and nice butt and all.

I remember the football playing, and the shift job out of college, and the engineering work, and the market place management, and the health care directing....

And I marvel - that God has made this guy I got to marry - into a vocational minister.

Crazy.

And gosh.... that God would make this girl a minister's wife....

We should all keep praying about the fruition of that one :)

Don't write anyone off, friends.

Don't stop praying and loving and serving and hoping - for life change in loved ones.

They may end up standing in front of you - and preaching to your own broken soul someday.

Thank you, Jesus.

A Boy in the Morning

An eight year old just traipsed through this small living space here....with a 20 pound bag of potting soil.

Carrying it from the garage to the backyard - he clearly has a plan and place for that bag of fancy earth.

After he slides through the back storm door and lugs his bag of planting dirt to the far corner of our yard...I get up from the table and watch from the window.

He's barefoot.

Getting all manner of black rich soil over the tops of his feet, and doesn't mind it.

He's working.

Back all hunched in focus.

He stoops there, and allows his fingers to join his toes in mounds of dirt.

Raking those growing fingers through this healthy earth - he breaks up clods and mixes up nutrients and prepares the ground for planting.

As he bows low and tends the ground - Mama here is touched.

His interest in all things land, his love of nature, his contentment to work the plot he has.

And his hope.

His hope of green sprouting up through earth - he waits for harvest.

And it blesses me.

Between soil preparation and planting -  a bee decides to descend.

There's a bush blooming right next to my boy's garden area - full in it's glory with white and purple flowers and scents of heaven.

The bee, of course, is drawn to this.

The boy, of course, flees!

" I don't want to get stung, Mama. But I don't want to kill the bee either."

So he puts on a dark colored coat to protect his epidermis from a stinger, and makes haste to fill small holes with tiny seedlings.

Grabbing his makeshift watering can...an old Ozarka bottle with holes punched through the lid... he lets water quench the ground.

He comes in - leaving the lone serenity of the garden - and immediately starts squabbling with his sister.

Ah, siblings.

But now, with early morning work done and secure...

He sits at my table and eats breakfast.

And I sit and thank God for the boy.

Easter 2015

All manner of wildflower has bloomed down here in the bayou.

Stems pushing up through sod, petals unfurling in glory, rain and sun pouring out a feast...

Our hemisphere has the pleasure of seeing and smelling and hearing new things, life things - exploding in splendor as we celebrate the Son risen and alive and saving!

The tangible realness of Christ, the sense of His presence and knowingness and love - has been pure and palpable this past Lenten season.

I'm on my knees this morning....

While the blonds are still in their bunks, and the husband is pursuing pastorship duties, and the morning Easter sky is heavy with clouds, and the Honeybaked ham is fresh in the frig, and while the world is aware that on this day we Christ believers celebrate...

I petition for deep and penetrating and everlasting revelations from the Lord to sear this earth, and for a surge of faith to filter in through believers and non-believers and all beings still breathing in terrestrial air today!

Yes!

Worship and realize and awaken with me this morning....