I don't really want it back, but I have my moments.
As we drove around looking at all of the new buildings being erected on our old campus last night - I couldn't help but get a tad envious of the kids moving in. It took me right back to my first few days on campus myself.
I remember it perfectly. As I unloaded my leopard print bedding and posters from my trunk I felt such a sense of newness and expectation. I was full of dreams and void of worry. I was naive and knew it. My journal was filled to the brim with goals all neatly written out and categorized. My biggest worries were math class and picking a major. My thoughts were occupied by boys, bands, and the buckeyes. As classes began and I got settled in - it felt as if I had all of the time in the world to enjoy that particular season in my life.
And then I blinked and it was over.
My biggest worry went from a math class to a mortgage. Who are the boys I think about these days? The one I'm married to and the one that calls me "Mama". Barney songs replaced rock bands. And while the buckeyes will always be held dear to my heart - the one I wake up to every morning is where my passion resides. I don't have leopard print bedding anymore because my husband would not go for that (but don't think I didn't try) and my posters have been replaced by framed pictures of family.
Don't get me wrong. All of those changes are fabulous and I have been blessed beyond measure.
But yes, I have found myself occasionally missing my youth. Maybe it is because I have been dealing with some pretty hefty life situations here lately. I definitely feel like a grown up now - that's for sure.
But ya know, even though I didn't check off all of those goals in my journal, and even though I haven't seen a decent band perform in years, and even though I have been faced with real world challenges in recent months - I have to believe the best is yet to come.
So instead of dwelling I will keep dreaming. And instead of longing for a time that has passed -I will relish the lovely gifts I have in the present. And instead of fearfully facing the future - I will stand firm and have faith.
.............All while listening to Barney.
Won't you join me?