Sitting there....on the tail fringes of the flu....I found myself begging for a break in the clouds.
They've been dense thick with rain, lately.
"Lord, please. Make the clouds thin out just enough for the sun to come barrelling through."
I pray it out loud as my kids watch me roll up my sleeves and sweatpants - them following in like fashion.
I need some sunshine.
Never mind that it's too cool for bare skin - my body needs to make some Vitamin D.
I need sun to saturate skin. Yes. I need this process to happen - the fatigue has been fierce.
And watching those clouds thin...and beam down light onto my flesh....
.....I ask for a break in the clouds of my heart, too.
Because the light of faith has been a bit dim lately.....
All the things happening in our world...all the things being inflicted as I tap these keys, even - we're clueless to so much of the pain happening - happening on our watch. Down the road...across the ocean - there's so much rankness.
Sometimes - thoughts of it wear me thin. And while it's rare nowadays - it can cause a bit of a famine in my faith.
So sitting their in my son's rocking chair - all my white skin showing....I ask for a glimpse of Him.
I need Jesus to come and saturate soul.
I need Him to come and fill, so that I can feel - without my faith having to waver.
"Just an opening, Lord. Slip right through."
And like the Vitamin D...the building of faith can be a process, can't it?
Sometimes - we have big miracle moments when He plops right in. But other times, it's a gradual provision..... a slow, silent procedure He does - when He sheds the light of faith right through our dark walls.
And so I sit there - in the sun....asking for the Son.
And if my history with Him repeats itself - He will fan my faith.
Because it all comes from Him, doesn't it?
Even faith in Him - comes from Him.
Show us Your glory Lord.
And help us to recognize it as such. Help us to see you being present - even in the quiet, small moments. Help us to seek....and find.
And Lord - please do fend off the fatigue. With all my pasty flesh begging for sun outside - all these crammed in neighbors here will thank You :)