Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Wednesday of Holy Week

We've had a steady flow of strangers streaming through our home here lately.

Apparently, when you tell your landlords you are moving - they waste no time filling your spot.

And so....sometimes on a moments notice - I have to make my home look like no one lives in it, pack my children up, and leave my house for over an hour - so that future renters can rummage and roam through my home.

It disrupts naps.
It interrupts dinners.
It stops play-times.
It ruins schooling.
It steals rest.

It makes you feel like your no longer your home.

And to be's making Mama go a bit mad.

It's been an interesting season.

And by interesting I mean awful. Not really all the way awful...but ya know, kind of a little bit awful.

Today was no different.

With the youngest down for his nap, the middle one not feeling well, and the oldest playing happily in the back - I got a phone call. When I saw the number - my shoulders dropped, and my spirits drooped, and as I was answering - I was already picking up toys and flinging them into bins.

Another showing.

Having non-background checked persons roaming my abode is unsettling for me. It almost feels like a violation - having people looking in my closets, and opening drawers, and laying eyes on my children's belongings.

Call me crazy - but it creeps me out.

When you are selling your home...getting a call for a showing is hope-filled delight. But when you are renting your home? It's scary disruption.

To get away from it all, and break up the monotony a bit - we rode down some roads today we haven't ventured on before.

We currently live smack in the middle of a house-farm and concrete - so finding out-of-the-way back paths is a rare occurrence.

But find one - we did.

If anybody can sniff one's my oldest.

Much to the pleasure of my almost eight year old - with a few quick turns we found ourselves in some green.

And that first child of mine....the one that pines for pastures and longs for wide open spaces.....he glued his little face to the window and locked his gaze in a stare the whole way.

If I hadn't been driving - I'd have done the same thing.

But instead, I kept the car between lines and held back threatening tears.

Because if the next few months are like the last few weeks - you won't waste a prayer on me. 

No alarm....I'm alright. It's just that this current season is like the refining of gold - all my impurities and weaknesses seem to be rising to the surface - as I face the strain of long work days for the husband, tight budgets for me, and up-in-the-airness when it comes to a home.

The slothing away of what's weak....this is good. This is needed. But that doesn't make it easy.

The kids are asleep now. One is ill. So Mama here is in an anxious wait - praying that no one else falls sick....and praying that the ill one mends swiftly.

Yes, Lord. 

And God....this hard hump day in Holy Week - make even this.... sweet, fertile, faith-growing ground.

As I wrap this up - just to my left there is a new drawing from that farm-hearted boy I'm raising. It's a sketch of trees and owl holes next to a rocker-adorned porch.

And it brings me some ease.