New Beginnings

Starting over :)

New year...new blog. See you in 2011!

God Happenings

Like I said in my last post.....I'm so full of stuff to tell you.

 Awesome stuff. And I don't really know how to articulate it all. A lot of the things that have been going on and showing up in our lives lately - have left me speechless.

And that's a rare feat.

For weeks now I've been asking: "How do I explain it all?" - "How do I put God and what He is doing into words? Into a sentence? Into a thought, even?" I can't. My words and my sentences and my thoughts aren't good enough. Not even close.

But please hear my heart, anyway. I pray that my measly little words will somehow give you just a glimpse of how real, how personal, how intimate, how awesome, and how awe-inspiring your Creator is. Because He is the I AM. It will take me numerous posts to get it all in - and by that time - I'm sure there will be more. However, as of this post - I am committed to posting at least once a week. There's too much going on not too.

Lord, help me here. As I'm typing this sentence I have no idea how I'm gonna explain all this. Just be in it, God. And that will be enough.

A lot of what I want to share will be written off by many as coincidence. Not long ago - I would have been one of them. My hope is that at the very least...one of you is strengthened in the faith through all these God-happenings....

*****************

Let's start with the corn. Remember the corn? I'll never forget it - and believe me - I will try. This was our second year of growing 4 acres of the stuff. Right in the middle of picking season this year (hand picking, mind you), things started to change. I mean reeeally change. For years now we (and by 'we' - I mean my husband) have been dead set on moving to my husband's hometown. Every thought, every spare moment, every thing was spent striving toward this goal. Getting our house ready to sell, figuring out where we would live once we got there, figuring out what land my husband would do his hobby farming on etc...etc...There was a sense of urgency and anxiety riddled throughout it all. It had become very burdensome and it was breaking us to the point of crumbling. But we didn't realize it - until it was gone. That's right....gone. Plucked. Taken. Door not just shut - but slammed. And it all happened right in the confines of my husband's heart.....

It was Memorial day weekend. My husband and I took the kids to a park. It was a beautiful day - full of warmth and sunshine.My husband and I were talking about moving. And he mentioned something a good (and wise) friend of ours said earlier in the week:

"God never moved me from anywhere - until I became content with where I was at the time."

Seems simple enough. But that day....in that moment....it was profound. A revelation. I'm serious when I say.... after that conversation - things were different. The sun and warmth at the park that day - transferred itself right into our hearts. All of the forcing, striving, yanking, and pulling - stopped. Just stopped. We were suddenly open - open to what He wanted...not what 'we' wanted. God didn't just leave us hanging there, though.

A few days later we visited my family in Texas. While we were there.... my husband and I celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary at a steak house. (All Texans celebrate anniversaries, birthdays, anything...at either a steak house or Mexican food place. It's a rule.) While we were sitting there, my husband leaned across the table and said...

"I need to ask for your forgiveness over something."

As I braced myself, he said something like....

"All these plans I've made about moving - were just that - MY plans. I never once stopped to consider what God wants for us. I never asked Him what His plans were. I've had tunnel vision. I'm so sorry. Forgive me?"

I almost fell out of the booth.

This man...my husband...who was relentless in moving our family.... who was totally - heart and soul... sold on living in his hometown.....just said WHAT?

As I picked my jaw up off the floor - he continued...."I want to commit to praying with you over this. I want to seek the Lord's will for our lives and obey it wholeheartedly."

After I composed my very shocked self - I felt so thankful that I married a man who would #1: Be open to something other than his plans, admit his wrong, and ask for forgiveness, and #2: Ask me to pray with him about it. I'm a blessed woman.

Two days later we visited a church near Dallas. My jaw dropped again when we heard the title of the message that day: God's Ways Work. The whole sermon was on doing things God's way - following His plans - not your own. Weeeeeird. Then, when we got back home and went to services at our own church - the sermon that day was entitled: When Your Plans Fail. It was all about seeking out God's plan for your life. Also on that Sunday, our pastor offered prayer for families at a crossroads - wondering what to do and where to go. Weeeird, again.

As if that wern't enough, my Beth Moore study that week was on decisions - and what to do in the 'gray' areas - when things aren't black and white. She specifically mentioned where to live and what to do when making decisions for your family.

And that is how it went for weeks. One thing right after another spoke right into our hearts. One might say that it was because we were more aware and looking for connections. I tend to be one of them. But even my own skepticism recognizes these seemingly divine happenings.

There's lots more where all this came from. I haven't even gotten to the good stuff yet. The stuff that just has the Lord written all over it. The stuff that makes the skeptic in me sit down and shut up. The stuff that makes me look up and say: "Oh my goodness, God. You are real."

And if I can say that........anyone can.

********************************

"For I know that plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." - Jeremiah 29:11

If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. - Jeremiah 29:13

Tonight

Sometimes, I just want to stay up late.

I know my four year old will come prancing into my bedroom in the wee hours of the morning tomorrow saying.... "Mommmy! It's morning!" I know my 1 year old will be waking up shortly after that looking for me. I know I will probably end up being groggy and tired all day. But I can't help myself. The house is so quiet late at night. Peaceful, even. I can eat a midnight snack without someone wanting a bite. I can type a blog post without having to stop mid-sentence about a thousand times. I can think. I can just sit. Nighttime is nice. And honestly...on the rare occasion that I do stay up late - it makes me feel young and carefree again. Did I really just type that? If that's all it takes I must be getting old :)

While I do love me some peace, quiet, and late-night r & r....I also love me some noise. Little kid noise.  You know the kind: the pitter patter of little feet just learning to walk. The sounds of a 4 year old imitating the roar of engines. The giggles. The songs. The banging of pots and pans. The constant asking of questions. The squeals and screeches. The hollers and whispers. It's good. It means I'm blessed. It means my days are filled with non-stop mommy chores, time-outs, and ibprofen....yes....but it means my days are filled with not only little kid noise...but little kid love. Little kid love....it's so real, so genuine, so honest. It's a privilage to do what I do. The gift isn't lost on me.  It's good and I'm thankful.

So tonight, as I wrap up my midnight meanderings - I'm gonna pray that I'm ready for those little feet and big noises that will awake me in the morn. And I'm gonna count myself as blessed. So blessed....early morning wake up call and all :)

The Lady's

I cannot count the number of times I have been strengthened by another woman's heartfelt hug, appreciative note, surprise gift, or caring questions...my friends are an oasis to me, encouraging me to go on. They are essential to my well-being.

- Dee Brestin

Rich is the woman who has a praying friend.

- Janice Hughes

When you are truly joined in spirit, another woman's good is your good too. You work for the good of each other.

- Ruth Senter

We should all have one person who knows how to bless us despite the evidence.

- Phyllis Theroux

Insomuch as any one pushes you nearer to God, he or she is your friend.

- French Proverb

Women need other women. That's what I thought when I looked around the room last night - sitting at my church's lady's event. We were all so different. Some young, some seasoned. Some career women, some SAHM's.  We were all over the board. Yet, still so similar. Each one of us came broken in some way or another. Each one of us recognizing the need to reach out to Him. And each one of us recognizing the need to reach out to one another. Like my first quote in today's post - I can't even begin to count the number of times a lady friend has lifted me up, spoke to my heart, pointed out some truth, motivated me to keep going. I need my girlfriends. The old and the new.....and you! 

Have a lovely day, friends.

Billy Book Review - Finally.

So this is ridiculous. I'm so embarrassed and red in the face.

Way back a long time ago - right before I found out I was having baby #2 - I signed up to be a book review blogger for Thomas Nelson. They sent me my first book - I read it feverishly - found out I was pregnant - felt sick for about 3 months - did some major remodeling on our house - lost my mind - lost the book - forgot about reviewing it - found the book in our garage - and totally felt ridiculous .......and red in the face.

Now that Thomas Nelson's advertising has long been done for Billy - I'm finally writing a review on it. Oh, the shame.

Since I deal with doubt and wondering when it comes to my faith  - I thought Billy would be a good read for me. In many ways, it was. Told from a unique perspective, the book gives you a glimpse into what life was like for Billy Graham, and a few of his friends along the way. It speaks of a time different than ours. Tent revivals. Farms. Door to door salesmen. The book does a good job of telling us where Billy, and his evangelist-turned-atheist friend Charles, come from. And I, for one, enjoyed this glimpse into times' past. 


It's a story about friendship, life, and how the two intermingle. It's about callings, faith, and seeking truth. It's a love story....between Graham and Ruth ( Billy's wife) - but more importantly it's a love story between Graham and God.


While the book has certainly made we want to learn more about Billy Graham and his life - it left me wanting a bit more. (Maybe I should pick up an autobiography on him or something.) However, the book has certainly peaked my interest, challenged my methods of securing a sound faith, and encouraged me to seek Truth. From what I understand, there is also a movie that tells the same story. I think I might have liked the movie a bit more. Either way - it's interesting, enlightening - and will certainly pull you in.

http://www.thomasnelson.com/consumer/product_detail.asp?sku=0849920671

There. Better late than never :)

The Corn

There is a large green and yellow tractor sitting in my backyard.

Yes mam. It is that time of year again. Lord, help us.

I don't think I wrote about it last year. I must have been a tad too traumatized by the whole thing. I was also very pregnant and corn just wasn't something I cared to write about...or talk about....or think about.  Especially OUR corn. You see, my dear sweet part-time farmer of a husband - thought it would be a great idea to plant sweet corn and have it be ripe for the pickin' right when I was set to give birth to our daughter. I didn't think much of it at first. He planted the corn. It grew, and grew, and grew. And as I watched the corn cobs develop on each stalk - I had the following conversation with my husband:

Me:  "Where is the corn picker machine?" 

Hubby: "Right here, baby. Your lookin' at it." 

Me: "Um. What?"


Hubby: "You have to pick it by hand."

Excuse me. Yes. He did just say "pick the corn by hand" didn't he? We aren't talking like 2 rows of corn in a garden - we are talking about acres of corn here people. All of which HAS TO BE PICKED BY HAND. I probably don't even need to say what I did next - Y'all know what I was like when I was pregnant: hunting down Kroger cashiers and distorting lawn chairs.

What makes this all even crazier - is that my farmer man planted the corn in 2 batches. One of them needed to be picked the weekend before I gave birth - the other one a few weeks after. Ahem. I don't know which one was worse. I remember looking out my back window - holding a newborn - watching teams of people pick corn with my delighted and in-heaven husband. I was blurry eyed. Irritable. A milk machine. A mess if you ever saw one.

But I'm not bitter about it. Not at all. (grin)

Anyhow, here we are again. This time around I not only have a very active 4 year old - but I also have a very active 9 month old who thinks she is nineteen. Seriously. And while we are talking about her...She also thinks she is an escape artist. Probably because she is. Oh yes - we have already lowered her crib as far as it can go. She figured out how to get out of her play saucer. And she has also figured out how she can stand up while in her bumbo chair with a tray on it to reach things she shouldn't. She crawls like lightening. And climbs like a beast. It's wild and crazy...but wonderful :) I love her for it.

As I sit here and type - I hear that green and yellow tractor plowing up our field. There is a part of me that wants to throw my new leopard print sandals at it - but there is a part of me that doesn't. Why? Because I love the man on it. Corn and all. The real reason I'm not barefoot though...... is the little guy walking around my yard - toy tractors in hand - sporting a red cowboy hat and snow boots. He thinks his Daddy hung the moon. He thinks this whole corn business is the coolest thing ever. And because of that....corn is cool with me.

But listen. I'm not sayin' I won't be crazed when I'm up to my ears in corn (no pun intended). I'm not sayin' that I won't whine about it a little. I will. And I'm definitely not sayin' that I will trade in my leopard print sandals for some mud boots. I won't. But this year - I will look out my back window - as I rescue my nine month old from trying to climb on the ceiling - and watch a little boy mimic every move his Daddy makes. I'll watch him plow up dirt with his little tractor. I'll watch him plant pretend seeds. I'll watch him fetch water bottles for all our pickers. And I'll watch him sit on the tailgate of a parked truck - delighted and totally in-heaven. Just like Dad. It may even inspire me to strap the baby onto my back in her baby tote (tightly, I might add - she's an escape artist, remember) and pick some corn myself.


Maybe.

So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up. -Galations 6:9

I'm Back

Hello friends.

Please forgive me for being such a ridiculous blogger. Is it fair to even call me a blogger anymore? I haven't posted something in ages. I'm aggravated at my own self. And I'm in awe of all the lovely ladies out there who manage to post the most profound and inspiring messages - just about every week or even everyday- on their own blogs. You guys are incredible.

We just spent a week down south visiting family. It was a much needed visit - for me, anyway. Because I live 1200 miles from my closest of kin - I tend to feel a bit stranded at times. What makes it even harder - is that I have one of those families that you actually want to spend time with. The kind that will make you laugh till you cry. The kind that will pray their hearts out for you. The kind that gets on your nerves but it is safe to tell them so. The kind that makes you feel - wanted and needed and loved. They are Texans, after all.

I got to do the normal stuff - like eat barbecue, ride around my old stomping grounds, sleep in, go to a baseball game, cook, eat Whataburgers, and devour bowls of Blue Bell ice cream every night. I also went through dozens of keepsake boxes. I found a yearbook, pictures of old friends, letters from boys, tapes of me running track, old dance costumes, my big Texas hair bows, prom dresses, cards, notebooks, and  more recent things - like wedding stuff and college textbooks. I enjoyed every minute of it. To top it all off - I got to do yoga with my aunts and uncles. It was both hilarious and wonderful. I'm hooked on it now.

I didn't want to leave. I never really do - but this time I just felt like I needed a few more doses of family. (And a few more plates of barbecue.) But here I am - back up north - getting into the swing of things here. And I'm thankful. While I don't much like the cloudiness, the cold, the absence of good Tex-Mex food, and the distance - I do love the changing of the seasons, the sweet friends we have here - both old and new, and our church - not to mention...our health, our house, and the little bit of family we have here.

So until this summer - when we go down to enjoy the 100 degree weather - I will be grateful....and I will daydream about sinking my teeth into an El Fenix enchilada.

Have a great week :)

Wise Things to Ponder

I woke up with a bad attitude this morning. Lord, renew a right spirit within me.

"We know nothing of tomorrow. Our business is to be good and happy today." - Sydney Smith

 If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me." - Psalm 139: 9-10

"Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?" - Frank Skully

"Life consists not in holding good cards, but in playing well those you hold." - Josh Billings

" The impulse of love that leads us to the doorway of a friend is the voice of God within and we need not be afraid to follow it." - Agnes Sanford

"One should know the value of life better than to pout any part of it away." - Hester Lynch Piozzi

Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk for I give myself to you. - Psalm 143: 8

"Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves." - J.M. Barre

The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense. - Proverbs 27: 9

 "Loving relationships are a families best protection against the challenges of the world." - Bernie Wiebe

She is clothed with strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future. - Proverbs 31: 25

I feel better already. I hope you have a wonderful day, Sweet Friends :)

These Kind of Tears

I've never known this kind of sorrow. I still don't.

I've never experienced this kind of empathy. This kind of pain. This kind of sad. This kind of devastation. All for another.

I can't stop the tears from flowing. My chest hurts. My stomach churns.

It feels like the world should stop. For her. For them. It feels like the entire universe should come to a screeching hault. It feels like the sun shouldn't shine, anymore.

Really, there are no words for this kind of loss. There are no ways to describe the immense sorrow that screams out from the heart of a mother and father who have lost their little 5 month old love-bug.

So I'm gonna stop trying. And I'm just gonna keep feeling.

Peace, Lord. Somehow.....give them crazy comfort and peace.

Wise Words From a Three Year Old

My son is changing my life.

I just wanted to let you in on a sweet little conversation he and I had earlier this morning....

I was in the kitchen making chicken noodle soup and honey oatmeal bread (Don't get excited. I'm not always so homemaker-ish) - when I looked outside and noticed how hard it was snowing. I turned to my three year old and said, "Wow buddy...look at all that snow!" He stood up and ran to the window for a better view. After talking about how much snow we were getting...he said, "Mommy, how will we ever walk through all that snow?" I said, "I don't know bud....that would be hard, wouldn't it?!" And do you know what my three year old little man said after that??? 

"One step at a time, Mommy. We will walk through it one step at a time."

Ahem.


Did my three year old really just say that? I decided to concentrate on how difficult it would be to walk through a foot of snow - while my baby boy decided to be all prolific and talk about taking it one step at a time.

Goodness. Nothing like a good kick in the rear from a person who hasn't even been to pre-school yet.


As much as I hate to admit it....this is pretty typical of us. I tend to make things harder than they really are. I blow things out of proportion. I let mole hills turn into mountains. And then I sit at the foot of the mountain - whining about how large and steep it is - complaining and throwing hissy fits. But my son? Not him. Even at the ripe old age of three - he works through things. Sure - the mountains of a three year old look much different than the mountains of a mom.....but really we should handle them all the same. His mountains might be made of Legos and wooden blocks - and mine might be made of worries and fears and budgets and stuff - but one step at a time up ANY mountain sounds pretty good to me.

My son's little comment couldn't have come at a more fitting time. I've been facing a few snowy mountains lately. Nothing compared to what others are climbing right now (not even close, actually) - but treacherous terrain for me nonetheless. And while it may seem cheesy and a tad bit cliche - this little "one step at a time" reminder - just really makes a difference.

Fellowship

I found the following story in my husband's college football manual. Awesome.

The Silent Sermon

A member of a certain church, who previously had been attending services regularly, suddenly stopped coming to church. After a few weeks, the Pastor decided to visit. The Pastor found the man at home alone, sitting before a blazing fire. Guessing the reason for the Pastor's visit, the man welcomed him, led him to a comfortable chair near the fireplace and waited. The Pastor made himself at home but said nothing. In the grave silence, he contemplated the dance of the flames around the burning logs. 

After some minutes, the Pastor took the fire tongs, carefully picked up a brightly burning ember and placed it to one side of the hearth, all alone. Then he sat back in his chair, still silent. The host watched all this in quiet contemplation. As the one lone ember's flame flickered and diminished, there was a momentary glow and then its fire was no more. Soon it was cold and lifeless. The Pastor glanced at his watch and realized it was time to leave. He slowly stood up, picked up the cold, dead ember and placed it back in the middle of the fire. Immediately it began to glow once more with the light and warmth of the burning coals all around it. As the Pastor reached the door to leave, his host said with a tear running down his cheek, "Thank you so much for your visit and especially for the fiery sermon. I shall be back in church next Sunday."

I'm beginning to realize that the human heart was made for fellowship. Even those of us who like to consider ourselves loners were made for coming together. Life is hard. It is even harder when you try to do it alone. Every time I put my Mom on an airplane to go back home after a visit - I feel it. Every time I hug the neck of a friend I don't get to see often - I feel it. Every time I hang up the phone after a good conversation with a far-off family member - I feel it then, too. I feel the need for fellowship. The need for some connectedness. Of course - times alone in quiet seclusion with Him are an important part of our walk. Of course, it is our responsibility to live a life of worship and service. We should never look to anyone else to fulfill us in certain areas. But we do need each other. My husband and I go to our first small group meeting tonight with our new church ....and I just thought this little sermon was fitting for today. I hope it speaks to your heart like it did mine. 

Have a wonderful week :)

Wise Words

I just want to start the week off right.

Maybe this will help....

Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. - Psalm 51:10

"God loves each of us as if there were only one of us." - Augustine

Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considered important. As a result, no one can ever boast in the presence of God. - 1 Corinthians 1:27-29

"Characteristics which define beauty are wholeness, harmony, and radiance." - Thomas Aquinas

"The good Lord gave you a body that can stand most anything. It's your mind you have to convince." - Vince Lombardi 

Have a blessed week, friends :)

Another One

So Saturday night, I was sitting up in bed reading - when out of nowhere I felt like I should read my Bible. The problem was that my Bible wasn't in our room - it was all the way on the other side of the house. Being tired and worn out from my day - I really didn't want to go fetch it. (Even though it only would have taken me about 3 seconds.) Then all of  the sudden, I got this weird feeling I should look on top of my dresser - that's right next to my bed. Weird. So I did...and I found my chronological Bible laying there. I grabbed it, opened it up, and this is what I was unmistakeably drawn to:

I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high,and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. (Ephesians 3: 16-19)

After reading it, I felt so....prayed for. So tended to. So lovingly recognized, somehow. Those words....delivered right to my heart's doorstep Saturday night.....spoke directly to my doubts, my fears, and my questions. Unbelievable. I had experienced yet another 'inkling' that ended up leading me to something very rich and very good.

Just wanted y'all to know :)

Be encouraged - and have a great week!

My Inklings

Ya know those inklings I prayed for in my last post? I'm getting them. It's wild. And it's good. Very, very good..........

*Yesterday as we were leaving church, my husband said that he had this "strange feeling" we should take a sweet couple we know out to lunch. Since we are trying to be more sensitive and responsive to the Spirit in 2010 - we jumped on it. Sitting there chatting with them - I happened to notice the beautiful red fingernail polish that was so wonderfully swept across the lady's fingernails. I commented on how lovely her nails looked and almost fell out of the booth when she said, "Oh thank you. My husband paints them for me." I could cry writing about it. You see, this lady is legally blind. She can see certain things - but there is a lot that she can't make out.  The hand-in-hand love they share spoke volumes to me.  I don't know if it's always been that way for them. I don't know if they have moments where they struggle with it. But I know that when a man paints his wife's fingernails - It's love. It. is. love.

*This morning, I opened up my Bible - with high hopes of finding some nugget of inspirational truth - and a nugget of inspirational truth is exactly what I found. My eyes were lead directly to this:

Teach me to do your will for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing. (Psalm 143:10)

I didn't seek out this verse. I didn't go searching for a verse like this one. It found me. And I will have you know, being the skeptic that I am, I have been known to roll my eyes when people say that God lead them to a certain verse and what not - but y'all - God lead me to that verse. And I felt like He was saying, "Make it yours this year, Kate." With some of the things I happen to be dealing with in life right now - being lead forward on firm footing - sounds perfect.

*As I've mentioned  numerous times here on my blog - I doubt. You might as well call me Thomas. It drives me crazy. It drives the people around me crazy. My questions are endless. I have new curiosities about the Christian faith with each new sunrise.  I have things written in the margins of my Bible that my grandmother slapped my hand for. Things like, "Are you kidding me?"...."How could God let this happen?".....and....."What????". To make myself feel better, I also want you to know that I have things written in the margins of my Bible like, "Lord, help me to remember this."....and.... "The Bible is perfectly enough." So don't think I go around writing bad things in my Bible everyday. And don't feel too bad for me either -because all of my doubting is kind of a blessing and a curse all wrapped up in one big crazy issue. It makes me study. It makes me go to The Word and find out for myself what it says. It makes me do research. It makes me pray the most heartfelt, needy prayers you've ever heard. It makes me humble. And it makes me connect deeply with quotes like this one that my husband ran across today:

"I prayed for faith, and thought that someday faith would come down and strike me like lightening. But faith did not seem to come. One day, I read in the tenth chapter of Romans, 'Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.' I had closed my Bible and prayed for faith. I now opened my Bible and began to study, and faith has been growing ever since." - D.L. Moody

 Mister Moody, I kinda know how you feel.

This week, I'm gonna take off my black fingernail polish (Yes, black. My husband thinks it's weird, too.) and put on some red polish - just to remember what love looks like. I'm gonna memorize Psalm 143:10 - and believe that God is leading me forward. I'm gonna open up my Bible and pray that it opens up my heart. All because of those inklings.

Awesome.

2010

I want to do things differently in 2010.

I want to laugh more.

I want to eat less beef.

I want to take a few more naps.

I want to let go of some fear.

I want to replace some of that fear with faith.

I want to memorize scripture.

I want to discipline my children out of love...not anger.

I want to read things by Emerson and Erma Bombeck.

I want to pray more.

I want to blog more often.

I want to go on a lot more dates with my husband.

I want to worry less.

I want to trust a little more.

I want to learn how to write well.

I want to see my Texans more often.

I want my Christmas decorations to be taken down before Valentine's Day.

I want to help people.

I want to take more pictures.

I want to take some cooking classes.

I want to read to my kids more often.

I want to be a part of some Bible studies.

I want to chill out and calm down.

I want to have people over for dinner.

I want to stick to a workout plan.

I want to run a 5k.

I want to keep things organized.

I want to stop being so critical.

I want my Mom's 50th bday to be special.

I want to grow watermelons in my backyard.

I want to sew.

I want to cut more coupons.

I want to be a good aunt to my nephew arriving in May.

I want to hang out with my girlfriends more often.

I want to eat less sugar.

I want to serve.

I want to be a little more optimistic.

I want to be spontaneous.

I want to hike.

I want to be patient.

I want to doubt less.

I want to be a doer. Not just a dreamer.

I want to get involved.

I want to follow through with things.

I want to be less intimidated.

I want to lift weights more often.

I want to stop being so indecisive.

I want to take better care of my vehicle.

I want to travel.

I want to learn.

Y'all, I just want to do life better. I was thinking and praying this morning about what I should change in 2010. What I should focus on. What I should let go of. What I should pursue. And there are SO many things. Soooooo many. I could have made a million new years resolutions today - there's a lot I need to work on. But making lots of resolutions and stuff would have been super daunting (and not to mention, unrealistic). So instead, I prayed a simple prayer:

Lord, give me inklings. Give me discernment and wisdom about what YOU want for me to work on in 2010.
 
A part of me feels calm and comforted by praying that prayer. But to be honest, a part of me gets scared. A part of me has a very hard time giving up control and trusting that He knows what's best. Maybe it's because I tend to be a doubter. Maybe it's because I like to be the boss. I don't know. But today....January 1st....I prayed a weak and meek little prayer to a big and capable God. And that's a start, friends. Don't ya think?

Happy New Year's, Sweet Ones :) Blessings to you in 2010!